Telescope

by Stephen Cluff

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credits

released September 15, 2010

Written and performed by Stephen Cluff.

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Stephen Cluff Dallas, Texas

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Track Name: Telescope
Telescope
by Stephen Cluff

A scratch
On the lens;
Light bends.

Grit
In the works;
The mechanism hurts.

And no matter what you say
Without proof it fades away
No matter what you say
They'll take it all away

Dust
On the mirror
You'll never see clear
That is the greatest fear

Too much light
On the plate
Clouds all debate
It's growing far too late

And no matter what you say
Without proof it fades away
No matter what you say
They'll take it all away

Air
In the lines
Limits and confines
Compromises all designs

Rust
On the gears
Can waste years
And a galaxy of tears

And no matter what you say
Without proof it fades away
No matter what you say
They'll take it all away
Track Name: Hello?
Hello?
By Stephen Cluff

Hello. How have you been?
You know, it's been quite awhile.
I hope that you’ve had a good life.
It’s been too long since I last saw your smile.

I guess you're right, my voice has changed
That's ok 'cause I've got some grey hairs too.
But you, oh you still sound just the same
I'm glad the years have been kinder to you.

I know, I know
I'm probably moving too fast
But I can never tell
How long connections will last
Please wait, please wait
But there are things I must say
Because you knew me before
Life bruised me this way

I've been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve
All my pain, all my frustrations there too.
There's just so much that I'm aching to say
I'd like to tell all my secrets to you.

I know, I know
I'm probably moving too fast
But I can never tell
How long connections will last
Please wait, please wait
But there are things I must say
Because you knew me before
Life bruised me this way

I'm sorry maybe I just jumped the gun.
Perhaps I said a more than I should say.
I'll take it back, give me one more chance
And I'll hide these parts of me discretely away.

Oh I see... you've got to go.
No, no. The pleasure's been all mine.
Say hello to your mom and your dad
Feel free to call again any old time.
Track Name: Near Out of Control
Near Out of Control
By Stephen Cluff

Some time ago
There was a girl
She was taught not to be seen
Taught not to be heard
Taught not to disturb
She was misunderstood and underestimated
But she didn't see yet what she was made of
No
No
No
No

She changed her hair
And changed her clothes
But the black she preferred
Didn't hide her well
It only made the attention swell
And she tried to live down to the assumptions they made
She embraced their sins, dug for an early grave
She did
Yes she did
She did
Yes she did

There she goes
Near out of control
There she goes
Near out of control
There she goes
There she goes
There she goes
So very nearly out of control

She finally escaped
Got out on her own
Found a new town
Found some new friends
Found a lot off brand new dead ends
She discovered that it was even harder
When she learned a few people were out to harm her
Yes she did
Yes she did
And she had to learn some things the hardest way
But she punched through that night into a bloody new day
She did
Yes she did
She did
Oh yeah she did

There she goes
Near out of control
There she goes
Near out of control
There she goes
There she goes
There she goes
So very nearly out of control

Self discipline
A grip like stone
Even when it was bad
She managed not to stray
Beyond the lines that she carefully laid
That was long ago, now she's built a skin of steel
That surrounds her tight and protects what she feels
It does
Yes it does
And line upon line and brick upon brick
She has gathered all the shards and made the pieces fit
She has
Yes she has
And no one can get in without her permission
Unless they brave all the mines and her steely intuition
No
No
No
No
Track Name: My Own Way Home
My Own Way Home
By Stephen Cluff

The sun's bright song fills a blue vaulted sky
All other eyes are closed because throats are too dry
But its humming in my bones
I still feel it humming in my bones

Sunset unfurls beyond the distant hills
But they are all too tired and have had their fill
But I must go on
I've only just begun.

Don't worry about me
I'll find my own way home
Just let me be, let me be
I'll find my own way home

The dark surf growls against the distant stones
Everyone's attention turns to warm beds in quiet homes.
I'm on my own in this need
To swim through that foam

Don't worry about me
I'll find my own way home
Just let me be, let me be
I'll find my own way home

No one could teach me what I'm learning here
No words could convey what's becoming so clear
No eyes could see this new view divine
No heart feels this changing pulse but mine

Crystal stars are scattered in glowing rivers and seas
And everyone's too tired to look above the nearest trees.
But Its all right
To be alone tonight

Don't worry about me
I'll find my own way home
Just let me be, let me be
I'll find my own way home
I still need to roam
I'll find my own way home
My soul like a forest groans
I'll find my own way home
Its humming in my bones
I'll find my own way home
I still need to roam
I'll find my own way home
Track Name: Mother May I
Mother May I
By Stephen Cluff

Mother may I hold your hand?
I'm feeling lost and I could use a friend.
Mother may I just stand close?
Its getting dark and I think I've seen a ghost.

Can you understand?
Oh, mother
Can you understand?

Daddy can we disagree?
What's true for you doesn't always feel true for me.
Daddy is it ok to cry?
There's a sadness I don't always want to hide.

Can you understand?
Oh, daddy
Can you understand?

I don't know what I am doing.
I don't know what I can do.
What if this path that I'm pursuing
Doesn't lead me back to you?

Mister Mayor can I step on the grass?
Can I drive this nail without having to ask?
Can I say my peace
Without a city pass?

Holy Father, Bishop and Priest
Can I reveal my full span or will you clip my wings?
Can I love who I love who I love
And still find a seat at Heaven's feast?

Can you understand?
Can you understand?

How do I keep it all together
When I don't even know which way is up?
My tide changes like the weather
How do you know when enoughs enoughs enough?
I don't know what I'm afraid of.
I don't know what I should fear.
What if all that I'm construing,
Just up and disappears?

Mother may I just come home?
This indifferent world has me feeling so alone.
Track Name: I Am Alive
I AM ALIVE
By Stephen Cluff

Sunrise came too early tonight
Daybreak cuts deep like a cliched knife
She's still somehow surrounded in starlight
I am alive.

The primal spotlight moves slowly up the sky
Safety shrinks like shadows before it flies
But stark beauty exists that cannot be denied
I am alive.

Hours crawl dragging that well-worn weariness in
Millimeter masks, careless facades are wearing thin
But honesty stirs and trembles beneath the skin
I am alive.

Darkness brings relief from the unflinching light
Releasing a calm steeped slowly from the night
Her smile stirs, a blossom amidst the blight
I am alive.
Track Name: View From This Mountain
VIEW FROM THIS MOUNTAIN
By Stephen Cluff

I live on this mountain
I live here all alone
It seems I've always been here
And I've watched you all while you've grown
Now its getting harder to make theses pieces fit
Its getting harder to be away
But I'm trying harder to make these pieces fit.
Trying hard to stay out of my own way

The view from this mountain
Isn't what I expected to see
The view from this mountain
Only reveals myself differently

High above the tree line
The air is quiet and still but cold
I can see for miles and miles
But cannot reach anything solid to hold
And its getting harder to keep it to myself
Its a struggle not letting those words fly
Its getting colder and the solitude doesn't fit
Like it used to

The view from this mountain
Isn't what I wanted to find
The view from this mountain
Only shows me what's not mine

And its getting harder to think in this thin air
Its a challenge sometimes to simply breathe
The ground is trembling, it shifts beneath my feet
I'm afraid to stay, I'm afraid to leave.

The view from this mountain
Is no longer good enough for me
The view from this mountain
Only reveals what I already see
Track Name: Bury Me In Leaves
BURY ME IN LEAVES
By Stephen Cluff

In the front yard with my father
As wood smoke curls in through the trees
Dad uses his old red rake to gather for me
A growing pile of leaves
Our laughter rises as the temperature falls
And dad's strong arms bury me with care
I'm surprised at the warmth found in this chill autumn breeze
Only my upturned laughing face remains bare.

(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
Bury me in leaves

Spring and summer have now faded
My father and youth are far away
It's grown cold and bare branches fracture the sky
Looking for warmth on another autumn day

(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
Bury me in leaves

Sometimes when color and warmth are forgotten
I want to walk the forest and lie beneath the trees
And resting my head on my folded arm
Wait for the wind to bury me in leaves.

(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
Bury me in leaves

I'm in the front yard with my son now
As wood smoke curls in through the trees
And I use a brand new rake to gather for him
A growing pile of leaves
Our laughter rises as the temperature falls
And I bury him with care
I'm still surprised at the warmth to be found in a chill autumn breeze
Only his upturned laughing face remains bare.

(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
(I want it back, I want it back)
Bury me in leaves
Bury me in leaves
Track Name: Give Yourself Away
GIVE YOURSELF AWAY
By Stephen Cluff

You want to give yourself away
To addiction, religion or some really good TV
Anything that will pass the time of day
Anything that'll keep that emptiness at arm's reach

You don't need to put a new book on your shelf
You don't need to pray for a bolt out of the blue
But if you do not fill that hole yourself
There are a thousand things that will fill it in for you

You want to give yourself away
Pour it all into a shiny new car
And drive all through the night every single day
Get so lost you never know just where the hell you are

You don't need to put a new book on your shelf
You don't need to pray for a bolt out of the blue
But if you do not fill that hole yourself
There are a thousand things that will fill it in for you

You want to give yourself away
Find new friends and make a comfortable new fiction
Learn to say what you should say
And it would be nice to be able to say it with some conviction.

You don't need to put a new book on your shelf
You don't need to pray for a bolt out of the blue
But if you do not fill that hole yourself
There are a thousand things that will fill it in for you
You don't need to put a new book on your shelf
You don't need to pray for a bolt out of the blue
But if you do not fill that hole yourself
There are a million things that will fill it in for you
Track Name: Another Shot At You
ANOTHER SHOT AT YOU
By Stephen Cluff

I need a stab at redemption
I need a break to see me through
I need the chance to make a difference
I need another shot, babe, at you

It’s been an incremental, its been a long, inevitable slide
That has led far away from the me I once had in sight
It’s been a gradual decline, its been a slow, ever downward fall
Toward a crushing comfort that safely sets desire beyond recall

I need a stab at redemption
I need a break, a break to see me through
I need the chance to make a difference
I need another shot, another shot babe, at you

All those ragged thoughts, and all those whispering doubts
That fill up the void between and entice when the lights go out
All those dark currents swirling in my head when should sleep
Driving me to give away everything I should probably keep

I need a stab at redemption
I need a break to see me through
I need the chance to make a difference
I need another shot, babe, at you
I need a stab at redemption
I need a break to see me through
I need a chance to make a difference
I need another shot, babe, at you
Track Name: Between the Lines
BETWEEN THE LINES
By Stephen Cluff

Looks like the world has found us again
Heavy curtains part as the play begins
Though music rises and floodlights soar
Shadows wait; I've got mine and you've got yours
Grab your wooden sword and wooden smile
And lose yourself for awhile

But read between the lines
To hear what I'm saying
Look beyond the cues
See past the part I'm playing

All these scenes we're running through
Filled with stock characters, both false and true
Feels too easy sometimes to let it all go
To just light the match and watch all the sets blow
Grab your wooden sword and wooden smile
And lose yourself for awhile

But read between the lines
To hear what I'm saying
Look beyond the cues
See past the part I'm playing
But read between the lines
To hear what I'm saying
Look beyond the cues
See past the part I'm playing

Play it broad and play it loud
Remember the fans; give it all to the crowd
Can't slip beyond the spotlights and dissappear
So break a leg as the gallery cheers.
Grab your wooden sword and wooden smile
And lose yourself for awhile

But read between the lines
To hear what I'm saying
Look beyond the cues
See past the part I'm playing
But read between the lines
To hear what I'm saying
Look beyond the cues
See past the part I'm playing
Track Name: Someday Someday Will Come
SOMEDAY SOMEDAY WILL COME
Stephen Cluff

This heart of mine beats so slow
Every time she walks away,
Despite the weather by rights it feels like
There should be snow
Calenders define the lines
Hourglasses whispering
While pocket watch metronome
Subdivides

Someday, someday...
Someday will come
Someday, someday...
Someday will come
And when it does you'll find me here
Where I belong
And when it does you'll find me here
Still holding on

Long shadows roam makeshift clocks of stone
Overgrown gardens blossom
Despite years life here
Carries on

Someday, someday...
Someday will come
Someday, someday...
Someday will come
And when it does you'll find me here
Where I belong
And when it does you'll find me here
Still holding on

Seasons change
Constellations roam
Even mountains fade away
I won't

Someday, someday...
Someday will come
Someday, someday...
Someday will come
And when it does you'll find me here
Where I belong
And when it does you'll find me here
Still holding on

This heart of mine beats so slow...